Harry Potter and the Final Year in School
by pandaheart
Summary: This fic is about Harry Potter and his final year at Hogwarts. Many surprises await him, including a shocking decision by Ron... Rated "R" for language and drug usage. Please...Just read and review.
1. The Gayness of it All

**Author's Note: **

Hi. This is meant to be a warning to all of you Harry Potter fans. If you like the Harry Potter book series, I strongly advise you to stop reading... NOW! If you simply don't care about what happens to Harry Potter and friends, then by all means keep reading. Just don't say you were never warned... so don't sue... please.  
  
- _PyroBitch13  
  
_**Introduction:**  
  
One boring summer day a really disturbed and somewhat perverted 17 year old boy was outside in Little Whining, looking for trouble. This boy is rather special though. Many people don't believe in witchcraft, while those that do say its work of the devil. This rather peculiar boy was or is indeed a wizard currently attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His name, Harry Potter.  
  
I trust that by now you know the story of Harry Potter. If you don't, never fear, I'll tell you. Harry was born to Lily and James Potter. They died. I'll tell you more later on. Now Harry lives with his aunt, uncle and cousin in number 4 Privet Drive in the city mentioned above. Harry thinks that his aunt and uncle are total assholes who do nothing but spoil his asswipe of a cousin Dudley so damn much and makes his life a living hell. He only lives with them because Lord Voldemort killed his parents when he was a baby using an extremely gay spell which consequently gave him an annoyingly gay scar. Harry now thinks Lord Voldemort is nothing but a gayass mother fucking shit head. Harry now goes to Hogwarts and has only two friends, Ron Weasly and Hermione Granger. He is also the seaker in quidditch for Griffindor house. Now... the story begins...

**Harry Potter and the Final Fucking Year in This God Damn School - Chapter 1: The Gayness of it All**

"Shit," said a young and bored Harry Potter on extremely gay August day. "I have no fuckin life! I don't have a girlfriend, I look like a fuckin' twig, I don't have a job, I can't drive, I'm only allowed to walk and occasionally ride a bicycle, I have no idea about my friends... they're probably fucking eachother right now and having a jolly good time might I say, while I'm getting the shit bored outta me! And to top it all off... I live with a load of fuckin' dumbasses!" said Harry quite angrily. "I could kill them all in an instant if it wasn't for the stupid Ministry and their retarded rules on underaged magic! Fuck them all! Those bloody bastards should go rot in hell!" See now what I mean by disturbed? Harry kept walking around in circles and eventually went home.  
  
"Harry Fucker!" his uncle Vernon called him. "Where the bloody hell have you been boy?" He asked angrily. Harry answered,"I was off looking for hookers. Are you happy?" He only said this because he loved very much pissing his uncle off. His uncle was a fat man, roughly 400 pounds and could have a heart attack at anytime. That's why Harry liked pissing him off so much. "What the fuck boy?!" Suddenly, Uncle Vernon began clutching his heart and fell to the ground, flat on his ass.  
  
At last, the moment Harry had been looking forward to all his life. His uncle was experiencing a heart attack. "Finally!" Harry Potter blurted out. "The ugly old fart is gonna die!" Aunt Petunia and Dudley stood there in shock looking at Harry. "What... the... fuck... boy?" she asked slowly. All of a sudden, Uncle Vernon got up and was alive and well. "I almost died for a minute there, didn't I?" He said happily. "Noooo!!" said Harry while Aunt Petunia and Dudley went to hug Uncle Vernon. Once again, Uncle Vernon fell on his fat ass and died. This of course made Harry very happy. Aunt Petunia took Uncle Vernon to the hospital and left Dudley home to watch Harry.  
  
"Hey you fuckhole," said Harry to his cousin. "I have magic and can kill you in a heart beat if I felt like it. So you best hope you don't piss me off. Oh and if you tell, I'll do much worse than kill you. Mark my words." Dudley, naturally a wuss because his parents spoiled him so, ran to his room, tail between his legs crying like a French sissy girl. _Hmm_, thought Harry to himself. _Those fuckers haven't sent me any bloody letters. _So he went on to write them one. He started writing Ron's letter first.  
  
_Dear Ron,  
You lousy fucker! Why haven't you sent me any fucking letters? Have you been to busy fuckin' Hermione or some other whore? Or are you really being such an asshole? Whatever your reason, write back soon.  
  
Harry_  
  
"There, that's a great letter. Now to write one to Hermione, the whore of this outfit." And with that, he started on Hermione's letter.  
  
_Dear Hermione,  
Why haven't you sent me any fuckin' letters you bitch? Have you been to busy fucking people? Or are you really such a bitch that you don't want to talk to me? Have you forgotten about last year and that "thing" Ron doesn't know about? Anyway, you better write to me soon!"  
  
Harry_  
  
And with that, he sent Hedwig to Ron and Hermione's house. A few days later, Harry got his friends' letters. He opened Ron's first.  
  
_Dear Harry,  
You fucking shit head! I have been not fucking any whores. The reason I haven't sent you any letters is because I'm having a self discovery. I might be gay Harry..._  
  
Harry rapidly put the letter down without finishing it. "Oh my God! Ron might be gay!" He opened Hermione's letter next.  
  
_Dear Harry,  
You annoying asshole! If you really must know, I haven't been writing to you because I've been helping Ron with his self discovery. Harry, Ron might be gay! This is so fuckin' weird. Oh, I'll see you tomorrow at Diagon Alley. Oh, Ron's coming too! I wonder what it will be like having a gay friend...  
  
Hermione  
_  
"Oh my God! Ron's going too! I wonder if he'll start hitting on me? Oh God... my life is so gay! And now I'll probably have a gay friend too! Oh the gayness of it all..." And with that, Harry shot some heroin and passed out.  
  
Later that day, Harry woke up and heard is fucking pig of a cousin Dudley crying in his room. Harry, being the asshole that he is, decided to go with Dudley. "Why ya cryin' you fuckhole?" he asked casually. "S-Shut u- up... y-you sh-sh-shit.. h-head! D-Don't you know m-my d-dad died?" "Oh yeah," responded Harry, and began jumping for joy. This, however, made Dudley cry even harder. Harry thought it was funny at first, but then got bored. So he decided to kill him.. using magic. "Avada Kedavra!" he bellowed. A flash of green light shot out of his wand and struck cousin Dudley. This triggered many sad memories for Harry. This was the spell Voldemort used to kill his parents and give him his gay scar. "That lousy fucker.." said Harry. "He gave me this gayass scar..." Then he cried. He finally went to sleep thinking of the joys, horrors, gayness, and accomplishments of his day.


	2. The Truth About Ron

**Harry Potter and the Final Fucking Year in This God Damn School - Chapter 2: The Truth About Ron**  
  
The next day, Harry woke up and was dreading going to Diagon Alley because of Ron. He did however, wanted to go so he could find someone. Harry didn't want to be lonely.  
  
So Harry got off his lazy ass and went to Diagon Alley. When he got there, he went to look for Ron and Hermione. He did worry about Ron's possible gayness though, he eventually found them. "Hey Harry," said Hermione joyfully. "Hello Hermione, hello Ron," said Harry somewhat nervously. He signaled for Hermione to go with him for a moment. He blindly asked,"So... um.... is... uh... you know?" Hermione cooly answered, "No, Ron's not gay." "Oh thank God," said Harry, letting out a sigh of relief. What Harry didn't know was that Ron was listening in. Ron finally decided to speak up. "I'm not gay.... but I am a bi." Since Harry didn't know that Ron was listening to them, he nearly got a heart attack. "Mother fuck!!" Harry angrily yelled out. "What the fuck? Were you listening to our conversation? And what the fuck do you mean 'you're a bi'?" Hermione knew Ron was of great stupidity so she decided to answer Harry's question. "He's bisexual." She also knew that Harry was somewhat on the stupid level so she decided to explain. "Which means that he likes both guys and girls..." Harry blindly asked,"So he might start hitting on me?" "It's a possibility," she answered. Harry turned to Ron.  
  
Ron said, "There is a slight chance that I find you attractive sooo.... I might hit on you, but the chances of that happening are very low 'cause ya know.. your scar and gay hair makes you... ya know.. not pleasant to look at." Harry shuddered in disgust. Then he got mad because he was dissed by a bi. Since he was extremely pissed at Ron, he kicked his ass. "There you go, you gay mother fucker! That's what you get for dissing me!" And Ron was in extreme pain and tripped Harry. They eventually got into a fight. "Stop it you guys!' said Hermione in order to stop the fight. "Fuck you!" said Harry. "I was dissed by a gay!" "I'm not a fuckin' gay, I'm a bi!" said Ron. "And you kicked my nuts!" They kept fighting until Hermione joined in. Anyway, a fight that last well over 20 minutes was cut short because Hermione joined. Harry and Ron had bloody noses, cuts, and scrapes as well as torn clothes. Hermione just got a chunk of hair ripped out. "Mother fuck! Look what you bloody bastards did!" She screamed angrily.  
  
She then burst into tears. "Hey, I'll buy you a haircut!" Harry suggested. "You never know, you might even look hot." Hermione hestitated for a moment, but agreed. One hour later, Hermione came out of the parlor. "Wow!" said Ron. "What the fuck happened? You look hot!" "Thank you Ron. Harry what do you think?" "Heh," said Harry, unamused. "How much was the cut?" "5 silver sides and 10 brome knots," she answered. "What the fuck!" said Harry. "I wasted my fucking dead parents' money on that?" Hermione of course got pissed, 'cause well, she's a girl, got soooo fucking pissed that she bitch slapped Harry. She then left. "What'd I say?" asked Harry to Ron. Ron just shrugged.  
  
Anyway, after 2 hours of looking for Hermione, they found her. "I'm sorry Hermione, what I meant was you look super hot. I'd do you right now if I could," Harry told her. "Really?" said Hermione suddenly happy. "Ya mean it?" "Not really. I just haven't said anything in a while," he answered. "Oh..." said Hermione, slightly disappointed. "Whatever." "So... it's getting late, what now?" Hermione asked. Harry really didn't want to go back to the Dursley's home and he really didn't want to go home with Ron like he had every summer since school started, because, well, Ron was half gay and half straight. And he kinda didn't want to go home with Hermione because she was a smart-ass whore. On the other hand, he did want to go with her because... she was... well... a whore. It was getting late so he flipped a coin to see what he would do next. Heads he went back to hell, or the Dursley's home, and tails he went with Hermione. Well, it was tails so he went with Hermione.  
  
The rest of Harry's summer vacation went by slowly because he stayed with Hermione and she's such a smart-ass whore, she made him study for school. "Hey Hermione," asked Harry one day. "Why do I have to fuckin' study? It's not like I'll ever amount to anything. The most I can be is a bum or something. I mean, I'm basically living off fame." Hermione, being the smart-ass whore that she is, responded, "I don't fuckin' give a damn! You came to stay with me because you're too God damn scared of Ron's bisexualness. Now you have to pay the fuckin' price!" Harry just stood dumbstruck. He finally said,"Oh... I'm sorry.... Why the fuck are you acting so fucking bitchy? I mean... you're bitchier than usual. What gives?" Silence. What Harry didn't know was that Hermione had left 10 minutes earlier. So Harry was either basically talking to himself like an insane physcopath or he was talking to the wall like an insane physcopath. Either way he looked like an insane physcopath.  
  
Harry went to look for Hermione. When he finally found her, he challenged her to a duel. "If I win, I don't have to study no more. If you win, the only thing I read is Hogwart's books ok?" He told her. "Fine by me," said Hermione. Harry was confident because he had survived the deadliest curse. But in the end, Hermione ended up winning because she's a smart-ass whore. "God damn it!" shouted Harry. "Ha!" said Hermione as she gave Harry a cart load of books to read. "Oh, and Harry, I'll be expecting a summary of each book every two days." Then she went off and left. And so, Harry Potter led a horrible vacation. 


	3. Off to School We Go!

**Harry Potter and the Final Fucking Year in This God Damn School - Chapter 3: Off to School We Go**!  
  
"Harry," Hermione called him. "Get up! We have to go to school!" "Shit," said Harry. "I don't wanna go." "Come on Harry! I told Ron we'd be waiting for him at the platform," she told him. "Now I really don't wanna go," Harry told her. "Ok... fine don't come to school with us... but you have to go back with your aunt and uncle." She only said this because she thought a threat like this would make Harry want to go to school. "Hmmm..." Harry started saying. "I can either go back to my hellhole or go to school with a gay... Nah... I think I'll go back to my hellhole." "Is this your final answer?" Hermione asked in hopes that Harry would change his mind. "Well, uh.... yeah, I think I'll stick with my answer. Have fun at school Hermione," he said. Now Hermione was really pissed. "Fine! Lousy fucker! I guess you wasted your whole summer reading those fucking gayass school books huh?" She said this in a final attempt to get Harry to go to school and of course to make him look like a loser. After a while she left.  
  
Harry was taking the train to go back to the Dursley's home so he hitched a ride with Hermione. "Bye Hermione," he told her. "You sure you don't want to go to school?" she said. "Yeah, sure as hell." "Well bye then." And with that she went on to platform 9 3/4 to board the train. "Bye Hermione," Harry softly said as she left. And with that Harry boarded the 10:15 to the Dursley's home.  
  
Upon Harry's arrival at the Dursley's home, his aunt presented him with a lawsuit. "What the fuck is this for?" he asked her. "Well maybe if you read it, you'll find out. Or do they not teach you to read in that freak school of yours?" she said this in a bitchy mood. Harry read.  
  
_Dear Mr. Potter,  
You are being sued by Mrs. Petunia Dursley for the death/murder of Mr. Vernon Dursley and Mr. Dudley Dursley. You will please report to court for your trial on December 15 of 2004. Thank you for your cooperation.  
  
Sincerely,  
Gregory Swan_  
  
"What the fuck?" asked Harry. "I didn't kill the ugly fart and what the bloody hell make you think I killed your pig of a son?" "Fire of all," Aunt Petunia said. "You will not call my husband that. And you were all alone in the house when Dudley died." "But still," said Harry. "You know that Dudley was... is extremely fat. How'd you know that I killed him? For all you know, he could have suffered a heart attack like the ugly old far did." "You will not speak like that in my house you fuckhole!" Aunt Petunia said quite angrily. "Fine!" said Harry Potter. He stormed out of the house and went to Ron's house.  
  
"Hello Mrs. Weasley," Harry said as he walked into their house. "Why hello Harry," Mrs. Weasley greeted him. "Harry dear, why aren't you at school?" she asked him. "I... uh.... well.... you see....." Harry tried to respond. "No matter now," said Mrs. Weasley. "I'll take you there myself." "Noooo!" yelled Harry. "I don't wanna go to school!" "Why not Harry dear?" asked Mrs. Weasley. Harry hesitated telling Mrs. Weasley about Ron. "I-I don't know if I should tell you...." Harry began saying. "Are you aware about what was going on with Ron this summer?" "No Harry, what was going on with Ron? Did he start smoking pot? Drinking hard liquor? Or did he possibly start sticking needles in his arm? Or is it something stupid like him shoving dice up his nose?" Harry was kind of intimidated because of Mrs. Weasley's yelling. "Well Harry?" Mrs. Weasley impatiently asked him, tapping her foot on the floor. "I-uh-well, ok... I guess you'll find out sooner or later, Ron's b-bisexual..." Harry quietly and shamefully said. Mrs. Weasley slowly sank into her chair shockingly looking at Harry. "Wh-w- what do you mean, Ron's bisexual?" she looked at Harry half expecting him or someone to jump up and shout,"April Fools!" and have this all be a big joke. She did know that the current month was September and there was no way anyone could shot "April Fools." Harry decided not to tell her about Ron being bi, instead he said, "See now why i don't wanna go to school?" Mrs. Weasley stared blankly at Harry and began to cry. "Why Ron... he was the good one...." she said between sobs. "He-He was gonna bring honor to this family. I-I mean look at us. My husband is a dead beat obsessed with muggles, Charlie's a freak, Bill is an abusive husband, Fred and George are drug dealers and currently joined the mafia, and Ginny, Ginny is a fucking whore!" Harry had taken a short nap. Mrs. Weasley finally stopped crying. "Ron was supposed to be the good one. Now he's as good as gay." After this Mrs. Weasley went to sleep. She suddenly appeared and said, "Oh and Percy is a fucking drug addict who hates us." Then she left. 


	4. The Trial

**Harry Potter and the Final Fucking Year in This God Damn School - Chapter 4: The Trial**  
  
The cold snowy days of December came. December, for Harry, meant only one thing..... his trial. As you know Harry was sued by his aunt for the "mysterious deaths" of Mr. Vernon Dursley and Mr. Dudley Dursley. December 14 came and went soon it was Harry's trial. The morning of the trial finally arrived.  
  
Harry went to the Ministry of Magic acompanied by Mrs. Weasly. Unlike his fifth year when he came for his last trial, he apparated into the courtroom. When he go there, he saw his aunt already there. The judge walked in. "Mr. Harry James Potter, am I correct?" he directed himself at Harry. "Yes sir," Harry responded. "And Mrs. Petunia Dursley I presume?" He asked Aunt Petunia. "Yes your honor," she responded. "Very well," the judge said. "Let the trial begin."  
  
"Okay, Mr. Potter," said the judge. "It is my understanding that you are being sued by the plantiff Mrs. Petunia Dursley for the mysterious deaths of her husband, Mr. Vernon Dursley and her son, Mr. Dudley Dursley. Is this information correct?" He looked at both Harry and Aunt Petunia. They both nodded in unison. "Mr. Potter, how do you plead?" asked the judge. "Be reminded that you are under oath and we will know if you are lying or not." "Okay..." said Harry. "I plead not guilty." "Very well Mr. Potter. Mrs. Dursley," the judge said with boredom in his voice. "Can you please tell us everything you know about the case in question and if you have any witnesses, please leave their name with James," he said as he pointed to the bailiff. Aunt Petunia walked up and gave a name to James. "Mrs. Dursley, you witness against Mr. Potter is Ms. Arabella Doreen Figg. Is this so?" Aunt Petunia nodded. "Very well," he said. "You may proceed with your story." Aunt Petunia walked up to the witness bench slowly and cooly. She was walking so slow, it took her ten minutes just to get there. By now the judge was really fucking pissed that he yelled at Aunt Petunia. "God damn it woman could you walk any fucking slower? I inda plan on going home tonight you fucking bitch!" Aunt Petunia just stood there, dumbstruck and staring blankly at the judge. "Very good," said the judge. "You may now tell your story." "Well," Aunt Petunia started saying. "It all happened last July. My husband, son and I were calmly sitting in the family room when this," she looked and pointed at Harry. "This fuckhole came in and started yelling threatening comments at my family." Pause. "What exactly did he say?" the judge asked her. "Well.... he came in and said, 'I hate you people! You'd better do everything I tell you to do... or I'll have your heads!' Then, he took out his wand."  
  
"Thats bull shit!" Harry shouted. "She's fucking making cock-and-bull stories!" Now the judge really was pissed. "Order! Order in the court! Mr. Potter! I will have order in my courtroom or I will have you removed and you will automatically lose this case. Is that understand?" "Yes sir," Harry told him. "You will let Mrs. Dursley finish telling all the God damn lies she fucking feels like telling. There will be a time for you to tell your story Mr. Potter." He told Harry. He then looked at Aunt Petunia. "You may continue telling your lies... story? You may continue telling your story." "Thank you your honor. As I was saying... he took out his wand and pointed it at my husband." "That's a fucking lie!" shouted Harry. "Mr. Potter! I have you told before! You will maintain order in my courtroom or you will suffer the consequences! Be warned Mr. Potter one more outburst like that and you will feel my wrath!" the judge by now was extremely pissed. "Fine!" said Harry under his breath. "Lousy fuckhole. Thinks he's fucking better than me. Well he's not! I'm famous because Lord Voldemort killed my fucking parents." "Okay Mrs. Dursley, please resume yours story." "Thank you once again your honor. Anyway, after he pointed his want at my husband, he must have done some thing because my husband started having a heart attack. So I took him to the hospital and left my son Dudley at home with him," she pointed at Harry. "And when I came home, he was gone and Dudley was dead," Aunt Petunia said and started to cry. "Okay," said the judge. "We will now call on any witnesses. Ms. Arabella Doreen Figg, would you please come to the stand." Mrs. Figg walked up to the stand a hell of a lot fasther than Aunt Petunia. This made the judge happy. "Mrs. Figg, please tell us where you were the night of the alleged crimes and anything else you know about it." "Yes sir," said Mrs. Figg.  
  
"It all happened last July. I was inside my house trying to give my cat Mr. Tibbles a bath," said Mrs. Figg. Harry started laughing because Mrs. Figg was too stupid to know that cats hate water. "Stupid dumbass bitch," he said under his breath. The judge decided to ask Mrs. Figg why she was trying to give the cat a bath. "Mrs. Figg," he said rubbing his forehead. "Why exactly were you trying to give your cat.... Mr. Tibbles a bath?" "Because," Mrs. Figg answered. "He was filthy." "Oh," said the judge. "Okay please continue your story." "Very well, as I was saying, I was giving Mr. Tibbles a bath and I saw young Mr. Potter walk in. I'm guessing it was around 10:30 at night. Then he walked in and nothing unusual happened for another 15 minutes. When Mrs. Dursley carried... er... dragged Mr. Dursley out and went away. Then about an hour and a half later, I saw a green flash coming out of the Dursley's household. And that's all I know." "Thank you Ms. Figg," he told her. "You may go now. Mr. Potter," the judge looked at Harry. "You may tell your story after a short, one day recess. Court is adjourned, for now." And with that he banged the gavel on his desk. 


	5. Mr Weasle's Secret

Chapter 5: Mr. Weasley's Secret  
  
Mrs. Weasley was now in a state of shock hyperventilating into a paper bag and crying. "Why..." she said between sobs," How could he do this to me? I haven't done anything bad t-to him. Fuck it... I'm gonna go find him." Mrs. Weasley left and pressed her ears to every door she encountered to see if she could hear any disturbing sounds. "Mother fuck." She kept saying as she went door to door. Some people kept looking at her as if she was some psychopathic...psychopath. "Hey, don't you look at me like that!" she shouted, "You'd be doing the same if your husband was cheating on you with some fucking muggle?" The crowd slowly backed away. Mrs. Weasley kept searching. What she didn't know was that in that crowd, Harry was there listening. He went up to her. "Wadda ya mean Mr. Weasley is cheating on you with a muggle?" He asked her. "Oh Harry dear..." she said, "I-I didn't know you overheard that." "So it's true then?" Harry asked. "Yes..." said Mrs. Weasley wearily. "Harry," she said, "You can help me find my asshole of a husband. Just press your ear to each door and wait to see if you hear any...er...disturbing sounds. You take that side and I'll take this side. If you hear anything, apparate to wherever I am. I'll do the same. Ok. Go." "Okay Mrs. Weasley." Said Harry and he dissapparated away.  
  
A few moments passed and Harry came to a door marked "Janitors Closet." Harry put his ear to it and, well; let's just say he heard... disturbing things. He took out his wand, pointed it to the door knob and whispered "Alohamora." The door became unlocked. Harry peeked inside and what he saw is something no human being, animals even, should ever see. He rapidly shut the door and ran straight to the bathroom. He came out a short while later and ran across the floor and caught up to Mrs. Weasley.  
  
"Mrs. Weasley! Mrs. Weasley!" Harry came up running, "Mrs. Weasley, I think I found him... it wasn't pretty. I'd better get paid for this. Oh, and I don't come cheap neither." "Oh fine..." said Mrs. Weasley as she pulled out 77 galleons from her purse. "Here," she said, "I stole this from Fred and George the other day." "Er... thanks..." said Harry. "Okay lets go," said Mrs. Weasley, "If we don't hurry, they might escape." "Okay," said Harry, "Follow me, they're in the janitor's closet on the other side of the floor. Follow me." So they ran 'till they got to the janitor's closet.  
  
"Is the door locked, Harry dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked. "I'm not sure," Harry responded, "Here, I'll just unlock it even if it's already locked," said Harry. "Uh... Harry dear, that made no sense what so ever." Mrs. Weasley said. "Whatever" Harry said and he then whispered "Alohamora. After you Mrs. Weasley." He said. Mrs. Weasley opened the door. She rapidly closed it and ran straight to the bathroom. Five minutes later she appeared and reopened the door.  
  
"Arthur Weasley!" she roared, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?? And is that... Hermione's mom????" Mr. Weasley and Cindy, Hermione's mom, suddenly looked up. "Good God woman!" yelled Mr. Weasley, "Wadda ya mean 'what the fuck am I doing'? I mean... it's pretty obvious what I'm doing." He and Hermione's mom put some clothes on. Mrs. Weasley turned on Cindy. " And you Cindy, does Richard know about this? I mean... I counted on you, I-I mean, I trusted you but it obviously seems like you don't give a fuck about trust or friendship. Oh, and Arthur," she said glaring at Mr. Weasley, " you can bet your ass that I'll be wanting a divorce." "Awww, but honey-" Mr. Weasley started saying, "Don't you 'awww' me Arthur!" Mrs. Weasley barked, "We're through!" Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley, and Hermione's mom were ignoring Harry, so he decided to go back to the Weasley's house.  
  
When he got back there, he saw that Hedwig was there waiting for him with two letters tied to her. One was from Hermione and the other was from Ron. Harry hesitantly decided to open Ron's letter first. "Here goes nothing." He said to himself as he opened the letter.  
  
Dear Harry, It kinda sucks that you're not at school. Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagoll are extremely pissed. Hagrid is kinda sad and has been suffering from seizures and hallucinations. He also babbles nonsense like an idiot at times. I think it's because he's been smoking some funny homemade cigarettes... "Ya think!" said Harry as if talking to Ron when he put the letter down. He kept on reading. ... Snape is the happiest I've ever seen him. I think it's because he thinks you're dead. Trelawney is now predicting my pre-mature, slow and painful death. Oh, and I'm not bisexual any more. Now I'm totally gay! Hope to see ya soon. Love,  
Ron P.S. you're off the quidditch team Harry. I'm still keeper though. Guess what Harry? I fell of my broom 55 times! How awesome is that? Hope to see ya soon. Love,  
Ron (  
  
Harry rapidly threw the letter into the fire. "Oh my God! Ron's gay. Full time! And he says that he fell of the broom 55 times like it's something to be proud of! The stupid dumbass!" Harry, was however, wondering whether the 'love' on Ron's letter meant anything. He eagerly watched the letter written by 'Ron the Gay' burn. "Oh shit!" he said, "I'm off the fuckin' quidditch team!" He got Hermione's letter and opened it.  
  
Dear Harry, I've got loads to tell you! You've really missed out a lot. McGonagoll and Dumbledore are pissed because you're not here. I hope you decide to come back soon. Dumbledore couldn't find us a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher... even though he knew perfectly well that Snape wanted the bloody job... anyways, he "made" up a new class called gym. We have gym with the Slytherins. Oh! And Ron's not bi any more. Now he's completely, 100%, no- doubt-about-it gay. Anyhow, my mom is gonna have a kid! I'm so happy. Write back soon Harry. Sincerely,  
Hermione  
  
Harry slowly put the letter down. "Oh... my... God..." he slowly said. "Mr. Weasley knocked up Hermione's mom! I wonder if Mrs. Weasley knows. I think I should go tell her."  
  
Harry went to go see the Weasley's magical clock that told the exact place of every Weasley family member. Mrs. Weasley's picture was on 'traveling.' "Hmmm." Said Harry, "She must be coming home now." So he went to go sit on the couch for a while.  
  
A/N... hey guys, sorry this is going by so slowly but this is  
my first fic. So it would really help me out if you would review. I am open to any kinds of reviews (even flames) so please review.  
P.B13 ( 


	6. Freedom and Inprisonment

**Chapter 6: Freedom and Imprisonment**  
  
The time passed by slowly but Mrs. Weasley finally arrived. Harry walked up to her. He didn't even let her sit down, or make herself a cup of tea. "Uh... Mrs. Weasley," he began saying, "Hermione's mom...is...uh...well...expecting..." "WHAT???" Mrs. Weasley yelled, "What do you mean 'she's expecting'? It better not be Arthur's baby!" Harry saw that Mrs. Weasley was extremely pissed, but being the dumbass that he is, he decided to tell her about Ron. "Oh, and, uh...Ron and Hermione just wrote to me. Ron says he's not bisexual anymore..." Mrs. Weasley cut him off, "Oh Harry dear, it's about time I got some good news. Ronnie isn't gay anymore! Now he will bring honor to our family," her tone turned sour, "Unlike his whore of a sister, and deadbeat older brothers and not to mention his fucking man-whore for a father." "Uhh...Mrs. Weasley, I think you have it all mixed up. It's true he's not bisexual any more, but he isn't straight either." Harry said. "I don't understand Harry dear, what you're trying to tell me." Mrs. Weasley told him. "Lets put it this way," said Harry, "He's not bisexual, and he's not straight... so that would make him...?" "Gay?" answered Mrs. Weasley with a puzzled look in her face. It took her a while to take in the information that she just said.  
  
"Oh...my...God..." Mrs. Weasley said pretty chocked up as if ready to cry. "I can't believe it. Ron's gay." "Yes," said Harry. Mrs. Weasley sat down. "There, there, Mrs. Weasley," said Harry in a very comforting tone. "It's okay, everything will work out." Mrs. Weasley kept on crying. "First my husband leaves me for some bloody muggle he fucking knocked-up, my daughter is a fucking whore, Fred and George are mob workers and deadbeats, and my other older sons I don't know any thing about them, and now- now Ron's gay..." she kept crying. Harry decided to leave her alone and he went to sleep in Ron's room. It was pink. Harry shuddered. He went to the bed and it turned out that Ron had a canopy princess-like bed. It was also pink. "How the fuck can Ron afford this canopy princess-like bed?" Harry asked himself, "He's fucking poor. Oh well..." He lay down in the bed, closed his eyes and went to a worry free sleep.  
  
He awoke the next day to the smell of food. Exactly what food, he didn't know. He got out of bed, took a shower, dressed and went downstairs to where Mrs. Weasley was. "That was the best fuckin' sleep I've ever had." He sat down and Mrs. Weasley gave him some food. It was burnt. "Mrs. Weasley, how could Ron afford that canopy bed? It must have cost a fortune!" "What canopy bed Harry dear?" she asked him. "Uhhh... the one that Ron has in his bedroom. "Ron doesn't have a canopy bed." She told him. "Yes he does. It's in his bedroom. I slept on it last night." He told her. "I'll go check." Mrs. Weasley said. She left the room. Harry saw this as the perfect opportunity to get rid of the burnt food. Mrs. Weasley came back. "He does have a canopy bed. I wonder if he stole it ..." Harry saw that it was a quarter to ten a.m. "Mrs. Weasley!" he yelled. We have to get to the court room for the second half of my trial!" "You're right Harry!" said Mrs. Weasley, "No time for food Harry," she said, "Lets go!" she said. She and Harry apparated straight into the courtroom.  
  
They got there and he saw that Aunt Petunia, Mrs. Figg, and Dobby were already there. Mrs. Weasley sat down in the audience and Harry went to the defendant's desk. At exactly 10:00 a.m, the judge walked in. everyone stood up. "Good morning ladies and gentlemen. The case of Dursley vs. Potter will now resume. You may be seated." Said the judge as everyone sat down.  
  
"It is my understanding that we are at the part where Mr. Potter will try to convince us that he is innocent of the crime he is convicted of. Is this correct?" he asked Harry. "Yes sir." Harry responded. "Very well," said the judge, "Mr. Potter, as with Mrs. Dursley, you will leave the names of any witnesses you may have with James and then proceed with your story." Harry walked up to James and left the names with him. He went to sit in the witness stand. "Mr. Potter, your witnesses are Mrs. Arabella Doreen Figg and Dobby the House Elf. Is this correct?" the judge asked. "Yes sir." Responded Harry. "Very well, please, tell us your story." Instructed the judge. Harry began telling his story.  
  
"Well you see," Harry started saying, "It all happened one extremely dull July afternoon. I was very bored so I decided to go for a walk." "Did you tell your aunt and uncle where you were going and at what time you would be back?" the judge asked Harry. "No." answered Harry. "They don't bloody give a damn about me. Anyways, I was walking along and I saw that it was getting dark soon so I decided to go home. When I got there, my uncle Vernon got into a huge rage about where I was. Actually, it was because I came home after my cousin, Dudley and that's what pissed him off the most. You see, I'm not allowed to stay out after Dudley comes home but I did. So, my uncle gets mad at me and asks me where I was. I told him I was out looking for some hookers." "And why did you tell him that?" the judge asked Harry. "I told him that because I knew he wouldn't believe it but to my surprise, he did. So he got all pissed and then he had a heart attack. He was...er... is an extremely fat man so I couldn't be to be blamed for his death now could I?" Harry said. "Quite right." Said the judge, "The cause for your uncle's death has been cleared. Now, can you tell us about your cousin's death?" "Yes," answered Harry, "You see, I never did like my uncle because he was such an ass to me and made my life a bloody hell. So his death didn't come as a tragedy to me but more like a joy. I was quite happy," By this time, Aunt Petunia started crying. "Please Mrs. Dursley," said the judge, "Would you kindly do us all a favor and shut up." Aunt Petunia did as she was told. "Please continue Mr. Potter." Harry resumed his story.  
  
"Dudley is...er...was also extremely fat. So he could have died of a heart attack from the shock of having just seen his father die before his eyes. Am I right or am I right?" "Yes, point well taken Mr. Potter." Said the judge. Harry went on. "The green flash of light that Mrs. Figg saw was me turning on the lights of the house. They were green because I had just changed them to match the color of my eyes. So I went up to where Dudley was and I saw him already dead. So I couldn't possibly have killed him. He must've died from a heart attack. And that's my story." "Thank you Mr. Potter. We will have the witnesses now." Said the judge, "Mrs. Figg, please come up."  
  
Mrs. Figg went up to the stand as Harry went to sit down. "Please tell us your story ma'am." Said the judge. "Very well" said Mrs. Figg and she started with her story. "It all happened last July. I was in my house giving my cat, Mr. Tibbles a bath." "And why were you giving your cat a bath?" asked the judge. "Because he was filthy." Said Mrs. Figg. "As I was saying, I was giving my cat Mr. Tibbles a bath when I saw young Mr. Potter walk in. I'm guessing it was around 10:30 at night. Then he walked in and nothing unusual happened for about 15 minutes when Mrs. Dursley carried...er...dragged Mr. Dursley out of the house. Then in about an hour and a half later, I say a green flash coming from the Dusley's household. And that's all I know." "Although that story seems vaguely familiar, I will accept it. Now, for the next witness, bring out Dobby the House Elf. A minute later Harry saw Dobby walking in. "Hello Harry Potter, sir." The elf whispered to him. Harry just waved. "Dobby," said the judge, "You will tell us everything you know about the crime in question." Then it hit Harry. He never told Dobby what to tell the judge. Dobby had no clue as to what he was doing. "I'm doomed." Said Harry to himself as the house elf sat down.  
  
"Well, sir, Dobby doesn't know what you're talking about, sir. All Dobby knows is that Harry Potter is a great wizard and kind and would not hurt anything. Harry Potter is generous and great, sir. Can Dobby leave now? Sir." Dobby said. "Very well," said the judge, "You may leave." Dobby left the stand and the room and went on his way. "I will administer a short 15 minute recess. When we resume, I will have my verdict. You may go." Every one got up and filed out of the courtroom.  
  
Mrs. Weasley caught up to Harry. "Very good Harry dear. You kept calm and did not tell any lies, I hope. I do hope you win the case." "Thanks Mrs. Weasley." Harry said. Harry and Mrs. Weasley sat down on the benches outside of the courtroom and just stayed there. When 10 minutes passed, Harry went inside and sat down in his place. Not long after, everyone else came in. The judge came in and every one rose. "You may sit down." He told them.  
  
"I have reached my verdict. Mr. Potter, please stand while I say my decision." The judge said. "In the case of Dursley vs. Potter, I find the defendant Mr. Harry James Potter... not guilty." Harry and Mrs. Weasley let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God." Said Harry. The judge however, continued talking. "I will however, issue a restraining order. Mr. Potter, you are not to come within a 5,000 meter radius of Mrs. Dursley." Harry and Aunt Petunia were happy with this decision. "And Mr. Potter, you will go back to Hogwarts for the remainder of the year. Court is adjourned." He banged the gavel and went away.  
  
Mrs. Weasley and Harry went back to the burrow for Harry to pack his things. "Mrs. Weasley," Harry said, "I'm gonna go write a letter to Ron and Hermione to let them know that I'm going back." "Okay Harry dear. I'm so happy you're not in jail." Harry went up to Ron's room to write the letters. He decided to write Hermione's letter first.  
  
Dear Hermione, I thought that I should tell you that I'm going back to Hogwarts. I have to talk to you when I get back though. Show this letter to Ron for me. Thanks. See ya later. Oh and DON'T WRITE BACK! I'll be at school in a couple of hours. See ya then. Harry  
  
Harry decided not to write Ron a letter because he wasn't sure on what to tell him. He got Hedwig and tied the letter to her. "Here, take this to Hermione. Don't come back here." He told her, "Stay in the Owlery because I'm going back to school." He put Hedwig to the window and watched the snowy owl take off. He continued packing his things.  
  
When he was done, he and Mrs. Weasley went to the station and into platform 9 ¾. She saw Harry onto the train. "Bye Harry," she said, "See ya later." And the train left.

A/N... hey every one, please review for this chapter too. I am open to any reviews, good ones, constructive criticism, and flames. Just review.... Thanks!  
_-Pyrobitch13_


	7. The Dream

A/N... its about time I wrote a disclaimer. So far, I only own the judge and Mrs. Figg's cat, Mr. Tibbles. Everything else belongs to J.K Rowling. I hope you like this chapter. If you do, please review. If you don't, review as well. Just review. Thanks. -Pyrobitch13  
  
Chapter 7: The Dream  
  
The train ride from Platform 9 ¾ was a total bore for Harry. He didn't have anyone to talk to. Harry changed into his school robes the moment the train departed from the platform. He had stolen a Gameboy from his cousin Dudley the night he killed him. He soon found out that he could not play with it. It wouldn't turn on properly. He wondered why that was. Then he remembered what Hermione had told him during their fourth year. "...Any kind of muggle electronic devices will not work here because there is too much magical interference..." Harry heard her voice in his head.  
  
Harry couldn't fid anything to do and the train ride to Hogwarts took about 4 hours. He had already wasted 1 hour trying to get Dudley's Gameboy to work. Harry was incredibly bored and couldn't think of anything to do during the next 3 hours, so he fell asleep.  
  
Soon Harry found himself in a strange place. He was n a huge mansion. More like a palace by the looks of it. He kept walking. "Holy shit," he told himself, "This place is fucking huge! It must have cost a fortune!" He walked up the stairs and heard some voices. Harry decided to follow the voices. They led him to a large, circular-shaped room. Harry let out a low whistle. He walked, crept, more like it slowly and cautiously in order not to get caught.  
  
He saw the backs of the people who had been talking. He recognized the one with the long, white-blonde hair as none other than Lucius Malfoy. The other guy, Harry did not recognize. None of them realized that Harry was there. "So Lucius, my faithful Death Eater," said the nameless guy. Harry felt a sharp pain on his forehead coming from his lighting-bolt shaped scar. Harry immediately recognized who the nameless man was. It was Lord Voldemort. The same asshole that killed his parents some 16 years back. Harry was clutching his scar because it was in intense pain, but tried so hard to continue listening to the conversation between Malfoy and Voldemort.  
  
"How shall we kill that bloody Potter boy? He has escaped from me, from death countless times. He withered me to what I was. Then, thanks to him, I regained strength and got my body back. Now I want to repay him by killing him." Harry looked shocked. He now knew what they were talking about. They were thinking up of plans to kill him. "I have no ideas at the present time my Lord." Said Malfoy. "Oh...my...God..." said Harry quietly, "They're thinking up ways on how to kill me." Harry decided to keep on listening. "Lucius!" said Voldemort, "Why don't you write to your son, Draco and ask him to tell you what Harry Potter has been up to this year." "My Lord," said Malfoy, "My son has written to me and has let me know that the Potter boy has not attended school. We don't know where he's gone to." "Very well Lucius," said Voldemort, "I have come up with a plan on how to kill him if he decides to go back to school. I want you to write to your son and ask him to let you know when Potter shows up...if he shows up. Then based on his reply, we'll move on." "Yes my Lord." Said Malfoy. Voldemort began talking again, "Lucius, I will tell you now how were gonna kill Potter." "This is my chance to know and be prepared for when they attack."  
  
Harry woke up to the train's conductor telling him that he made it to Hogwarts. "Oh man!" whined Harry, "Now I'll never know how Voldemort is gonna kill me." Harry walked to the castle. When he got in, he saw that Hermione and, to his disgust, Ron were waiting for him. "Harry!" shouted Hermione joyfully, "It's great to see you. We've missed you so much!" she ran up to Harry and hugged him. "It's great seeing you too Hermione." He told her as he hugged her back. When she got off him, Harry walked up to Ron. "Hello Ron..." he said nervously. Ron looked like the same old straight Ron. "Nice to see ya Harry. Mum wrote to me about your trial. God job on getting off mate. That's number two isn't it? Anyway, nice to see ya." "It's great being here." Said Harry, "Oh and the best thing is, is that I don't have to go back with my aunt anymore! Ever! It says so on my court papers. I have a restraining order. I'm not allowed to be within a 5000 meter radius of her. I'm so happy! Let's go inside. I have to put my stuff away and talk to Dumbledore." Ron and Hermione looked at Harry with sad faces. Hermione decided to speak up, "Uhh, Harry," she said quietly, "Dumbledore died last night." "He what?" asked Harry in disbelief.  
  
The three of them walked into the castle and into the Gryffindor common room. Along the way, Ron and Hermione told Harry about how Dumbledore died last night. "He died when his phoenix, Fawkes...er... exploded. Dumbledore was petting him and he went poof." Hermione said. Harry and Ron went up to the dormitories and Ron helped Harry put his stuff away. "Who's the new Headmaster now?" Harry asked Ron. "McGonagoll." Ron replied. "Oh..." said Harry. I think I'll go talk to her tomorrow morning." He finished fixing his stuff and went to sleep. 


	8. The Trip to Hagrid's House

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I only own the plot. Oh, and after some research, it turns out that I don't own Mrs. Figg's cat, Mr. Tibbles.  
  
**Chapter 8: The Trip to Hagrids' House  
**  
The next morning, Harry woke up in his bed at Hogwarts. He got ready to go see Dumbledore when he remembered that he had died 2 nights ago and McGonagall was the new Headmistress. He got up and went to see her. He walked up to the office that had once been Dumbledore's when he remembered that he didn't know the password to get in. He decided to go back to the common room to talk to Ron and Hermione.  
  
When he got there he saw that Hermione wasn't there. Only Ron was. He decided to go talk to him. Harry was no longer afraid of Ron's gayness. Instead, he just ignored it and thought of Ron as just his regular old friend. "Hey Ron," Harry asked, "Where's Hermione?" "I have no clue. She seems distant. She's been this way since 2 months ago. I have no clue about her anymore. She doesn't talk to me about stuff anymore." Said Ron. "Oh." Said Harry. "Hey Ron," Harry asked, "What's our schedule?" Ron gave him his paper with their classes written down. "We have McGonagall tomorrow. Good. I can talk to her then." Said Harry.  
  
He and Ron went to the quidditch field because Ron had to train for the upcoming matches. Harry met the seeker and saw that it was Ginny Weasley; Ron's little sister. "Oi, Ginny, come down here now!" Harry heard Ron yell. "Harry!" said Ginny, "I can't believe that you decided to show up. About time too!" She said happily as she hugged him. "Ginny can you come here for a moment? I need to talk to you." Said Ron. "Okay." Said Ginny as she went with him. A while later, Ron and Ginny came back. Ron spoke up "Hey Harry, I hope you brought your Firebolt with you. You're our new seeker. Ginny is the alternate for if you can't play for some reason." Harry didn't know what to say. He just stood their speechless. "Well, did you bring your broom?" Ron asked him enthusiastically. "Yeah..." said Harry, "I'll summon it. Accio Firebolt." He said and soon enough, his Firebolt came. Harry got on it and flew to where the other quidditch team members were.  
  
"Harry Potter," they all said. Ron came up and joined them. "Okay Harry, let me introduce you to this year's Gryffindor qudditch team. You already know that I'm the Keeper, but I'm also Captain of the team." "Congratulations said Harry. Ron continued talking, "You are the Seeker, of course. The Chasers are Lavender Brown, Hermione Granger," Harry cut him off, "Hermione is on the team?" he asked him in disbelief. "Yes, she's pretty good." Ron answered and kept going, "Okay, the last Chaser is Colin Creevy." "You mean the same Colin Creevy who practically stocks me all the fuckin' time???" Harry asked. "Yep." Replied Ron, "That's the one! So you know the Chasers, Seeker, and Keeper. Oh yeah! The Beaters are Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan." "Are these people any good?" asked Harry. "You'd be surprised." Said Ron, "So far, we've only gone against Hufflepuff. We beat them 170 to 40. Of course we beat them because they suck, but a win is a win. Our next match is Slytherin next month." "Let me get this straight," said Harry, "Hermione is on the team." "Yep." Answered Ron, "Except she's not here now. Come to think of it, she hasn't been to any practices in two months. I'll have to talk to her." "No. Its okay. I'll talk to her. I have to talk to her anyway.  
  
Harry could not get the dream out of his head. He had not seen Malfoy (Draco) since he came to school. He was pretty sure the only people who knew he was here were Ron, Hermione, and the Gryffindor quidditch team. That was a good thing. He didn't want anyone knowing he was there just yet. He hadn't even told Hagrid he was there, and he was his really good friend. Harry didn't want Hagrid to worry about him so he decided to go to his hut.  
  
He got there and knocked on the door. Nobody answered. "Fuck," said Harry, "Hagrid must not be home." Just then the door opened. Hagrid came out looking stoned. "Whoa." Said Harry, "What happened to you?" he went inside without Hagrid inviting him to come in. Harry went inside and saw that there was a lot of smoke in the house. Hagrid went in and sat down. Harry did the same. Hagrid had recovered his senses and noticed that Harry was there. "Hi 'Arry." He said. "Hey Hagrid," said Harry. "So yeh finally decided to show up. Took yeh long enough." "Yeah," said Harry, "Hagrid, why is there so much smoke in your house?" Hagrid walked to a cabinet and took out a small tin box. He opened it to show its contents to Harry. "This is why." He told Harry. "I've been smoking these since some stranger gave me one in the Leaky Cauldron. He showed me how to make 'em an' all. Yeh want one?" he asked Harry. "Are these pot joints?" asked Harry. "Yep." Answered Hagrid as he light one up. He asked again if Harry wanted one. Harry hesitantly took one of the small joints. "I don't know," he said, "So far I've only tried hard liquor and heroin. Which reminds me..." he took out a needle from his coat and stuck it in his vein. "That feels good," he said. "Sure, why not. I'll try pot. I've been meaning to anyways." He lit the joint and took a long puff. He kept doing this with Hagrid for about an hour. He even let Hagrid try some of his heroin. They had a lot of fun.  
  
It was about 4:00 and Ron came to Hagrid's house to look for Harry. Sure enough, when he walked in he saw Harry and Hagrid puffing on something. Ron recognized the things as Hagrid's homemade cigarettes. "Hey!" shouted Ron, "Harry, why didn't you tell me you also smoked Hagrid's homemade cigarettes? If you're doing it, then I want some too." Harry and Hagrid were now delusional and didn't recognize Ron. "Hello old lady," said Harry, "I'm sorry but I haven't seen your kitty cat. Come back later." "Uh... Harry, are you okay?" asked Ron. "Get out of me house yeh stupid clown." Said Hagrid. "Oh no," said Ron, "They don't know what's going on. They are completely drugged!" he spotted Hagrid's tin box and saw that it was half empty. "They went through half the box." He said.  
  
About half an hour later, Harry and Hagrid came to their senses. "Thank god you're okay!" said Ron. "You were acting so weird." He said, "Harry, we have to go. Remember, you still have to talk to Hermione." "Okay," said Harry, "Bye Hagrid. See ya later." "Bye 'Arry. Bye Ron." Said Hagrid as Harry and Ron walked away.

A/N: please reveiw for this chapter.


	9. Harry's Explanation

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

**Chapter 9: Harry's Explanation**

The next day Harry woke up really, kind of drugged. This was a bad thing because it was a Monday and he had classes to go to. According to Ron, Monday's schedule was Transfiguration, Herbology, double Divination, and Potions. He wouldn't have to go to the new gym class until Tuesday, which was tomorrow. He went to the great hall for breakfast and as soon as he set foot inside, everyone stopped what they were doing. Harry and Ron kept on walking. Harry was no longer scared of Ron's gayness. Now he just thought of Ron as a friend with issues. They found Hermione and sat down with her. "Hello Harry. Hello Ron." She said. "Hermione," said Harry, "How come you didn't tell me you were on the Quidditch team?" "Well, you see...er..." Hermione didn't want to tell Harry that the only two reasons she wanted to be on the team was to hang out with him more. You see, Hermione has had a crush on Harry since fifth year when they were in the Order. She kind of liked the fact that Harry was a bad boy prone to danger. The other reason she had for joining the team was because she also had a secret crush on their worst enemy. Draco Malfoy. She wanted to join the team because she wanted to be close to him. After all, they were kind of seeing each other [hint, hint]. Even so, she decided to answer Harry's question. " I didn't tell you because I had so much on my mind, I forgot to tell you." "Oh." Said Harry. Hermione was glad that Harry believed that answer.

After breakfast, the three of them walked to McGonagall's class. Harry kind of didn't want to go because then he would have to explain to the new headmistress why he didn't come to school on time. He didn't want to put up with that shit. They walked into the classroom and sat down. A few minutes later, Professor McGonagall came in. She immediately took notice of Harry being there. Once she got the class settled down, she talked to Harry. "You're late Mr. Potter." She said. Harry was confused. "What do you mean I'm late? I got here before you." He said. "Not late for class Mr. Potter. You're late for school." "Oh." Said Harry. "I want an explanation Mr. Potter." Said Professor McGonagall. "Now?" asked Harry? "Yes now Mr. Potter." Said McGonagall. Harry wasn't sure of what to tell her. "Well, I haven't been here because... er... um... heh heh... I didn't want to come?" Professor McGonagall wasn't very satisfied with his answer. "You will report to detention with me after your classes." "God damn it!!" shouted Harry out loud in class. "Why do I have a fucking detention? It's not like I did anything wrong! Screw you! I ain't goin'!!" he sat back down. Professor McGonagall was quite shocked that Harry would do that. "Mr. Potter! You will report to the detention and it is now raised to two weeks!" Harry was shocked. Two weeks? That was an outrage. But he knew that he had to do as he was told or else he would go back to Ron's house. He didn't want to do that because she was kind of psycho now. He sat down and behaved as best he could during the class.

The rest of the day wasn't much better. Herbology wasn't that bad. It went quite fine actually. Divination was horrible though. Trelawney had a nervous breakdown in class because Harry showed up. She had been quite sure that he was dead. Potions was worst of all. When he walked in, all the Slytherins were looking at him. Draco went up to them and stared at Harry. "Well, well, well," he said, "Look who finally decided to show up. Welcome back Scarhead. Missed me?" he said mockingly. "Why Hello Malfoy." Said Harry, "I'll have you know that I couldn't care less about a stupid little dipshit like you." "Hmmm." Said Draco, "You'd better watch you're language. I'm a prefect and can give you detention if I feel like it." They went and sat down as soon as Professor Snape walked in.

He took one look at Harry and looked away in disgust. "Nice of you to join us Mr. Potter." He said sarcastically. "I heard you were in court for murder." He said wanting to embarrass Harry. Every one shifted their eyes towards Harry. "Yeah. It's true I was in court for murder. All I got was a restraining order." He said joyfully. "Potter!" Snape roared, "You will come to detention with me tonight because of your joyous expression of death and just getting off with a mere restraining order!" "What the fuck?" Harry yelled, "I can't fucking come to your buttfucking detention tonight because I already have detention with McGonagall." Snape was mad. "Mr. Potter!!! Why the fuck are you fucking yelling profanities in my fucking class???" Everyone was staring at either Harry or Professor Snape. Realization finally dawned upon Snape and he knew that he had cussed out loud in class. "Bloody hell!!! What have I done?" Harry being the complete dumbass that he was, decide to answer Snape's rhetorical question. "Uh, sir, you just said 'Mr. Potter!!! Why the fuck are you fucking yelling profanities in my fucking class???'" Snape was now even more pissed because of Harry's dumbassness. "That does it!" he roared, "Potter! You **will** come to my detention tonight or you **will** feel my wrath!!!" "Ooooh. You're threatening me. The judge that gave me my restraining order said the exact same thing when I cussed out loud in court. I ignored him of course. He didn't show me his wrath though. Nope. Instead he did the best thing in the world when he gave me my restraining order. Now I never have to see my fucking aunt ever again!" Harry responded happily. Snape decided to send Harry to see McGonagoll. He also deducted 500 points from Gryffindor.

Harry went to the headmistress's office. They had a huge buttfucking discussion about why people should not cuss in class. Harry told her that Snape did it to so he got called out from class. McGonagall knew the form of punishment Professor Umbridge had used on students when she was here. She decided to do the same thing to Harry and Snape. They had to write 'I will not use profanities in class out loud' about 1,000 times each. If they did it again, they would have to write the same thing except 3,450 times. It was also decided that Harry was to attend both detentions on the same day. He was to go to McGonagall's detention first and then go to Snape's.

Harry hated this very much. Alas, he knew that he had to put up with it or go back to Mrs. Weasley's house. He didn't want that. Harry led a horrible day. Not to mention that he was experiencing the after effects of smoking pot and using heroin.

A/N: Hope you liked the chapter. Tell me if you did. I'm begging you. Please review.


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